Wednesday, September 22, 2010


I come in from the run, sweat pouring down my body, and switch the shower on. I disrobe. I'm nude, unadorned - my thoughts are my only armor.

I climb in and sit in the Lotus Position, letting the water fall around me. I close my eyes.

Breathing in with my nose, feeling my body fill with air. The air is full of colors - red, blue, purple, green, yellow, brown, black . . . and suddenly my body is full of those colors. I breathe in until my body can simply take no more - no more mass, no more air, no more color. I hold.

I ignore the water splashing about me. I ignore the sweat still seeping from my body. I ignore the songs playing in my head. The thoughts/concerns that accompany me everywhere disappear. I'm full. I consciously stop breathing. It's me - and only me. I feel inside and wait for a heartbeat. One, two, three, four. Those colors inside switch to white and I slowly release from my mouth.

My eyes still closed, I watch the white fill the shower with my mind's eye - then the bathroom, the house, the street, the neighborhood, the city, state, country, world, solar system, universe. White travelling to all areas at once, until there is no breath left inside of me.

Again, I find my heartbeat. I allow the water splashing over my body to re-enter my consciousness, then my nakedness. I listen for an internal song, never surprised when it's right there. I look for my thoughts, and I find that the day's concerns are slower to find their way back to me. Slowly, I open my eyes, and again find my heartbeat.

I close my eyes.

Breathing in with my nose, feeling my body fill with air....

Friday, September 17, 2010

When things are going well

I have not forgotten about this blog. The issue is, when things are going according to plan, it's really boring to write about. "I ran 10 miles this morning before work". "I ran 18 miles on a Saturday morning". My training is going well, my diet is working. My "healthy" stuff, well, is boring.

But, well, some updates.

  1. I've solved my chafing issue. For awhile, anytime I went on a "long" run (anything more than 7 or 8 miles), I had some serious issues with raw skin between my legs (and lets not forget my nipple bleeding). I purchased some compression shorts and that seems to have solved my issue. My longest run since ensuring that I was wearing them while running has been 18 miles, and I haven't had any issues on any run. I've also purchased compression shirts, and my nipples have been thanking me.

  2. It's a good thing I run primarily before sunrise. With the compression wear, well, there's not much to the imagination. Especially if my mind wanders during my run.


    Anyway, I typically wear loose fitting clothing over my compression wear so as to not make any passers-by sick to their stomach as I run by. This morning, though, I had to kick off the shorts. They were literally falling off of me as I ran.

  3. Fat is melting off. Try as I might, I can't deny this. I may have an image of a "robust" John in my head, but my body is actually becoming that of a runner. Clothing that used to be loose on me simply falls off. Heck, clothing that used to fit me "just right" is getting dangerously big around my middle. Dress shirts that I used to avoid because they were tight around the chest now actually look good. I'm at the last hole on my favorite belt.

  4. I'm eating intuitively without even trying. I eat when I'm hungry. I snack all day at work on fruit & veggies. I eat helpings with dinner because my body is saying "you should eat". This is a good feeling. Knowing when you're actually hungry is a difficult step.

  5. I'm not sure where the fat ends and the skin begins. This is an issue I dealt with the last time I dropped weight, and it's an issue now. I know there's still plenty of fat around me, but there's a whole lot less than there was only a few months ago. At some point, my body is going to start telling me that I either need to eat more or work out less. When I reach that point (and I do believe that I'm "in-tune" with my body well enough that I'll recognize the signs when they're with me), I'll have to decide whether a surgical option to get rid of the skin should be investigated. Fortunately, I know of some kick-ass people who have chosen to go through with the surgery, and to live with loose skin. Heck, I even know somebody is planning on going through with the surgery at some future date. Whatever I chose, I'll post here.

  6. I have been meditating. I'm planning a post to talk about what I go through, just because several people have asked me what advantages I get out of it, and how it works.

  7. My work schedule has been hectic. This means lots of conference calls. Yes, I'm still enforcing the "every time I close or open my office door, I do 10 pushups" rule. My elbow isn't always happy with this (especially on rainy days), but I'm getting through the pushups without strain (as opposed to when I started this rule). I may be switching to 15 pushups per door opening.

  8. I'm two months away from the marathon. gulp.

  9. I'm realizing that I have more than just four speeds. It used to be that I had "stop", "walk", "go", and "sprint". "Go" was, essentially, slightly faster than a brisk walk. When I started running, that meant 12:00 miles, and now it means about a 9:30 mile. However, at the end of all of my runs, lately, I've kicked things up - far from a sprint, but much faster than I've been running (I'd guess I'm coming in at 6:30-7:00 mile pace). When I find engage this gear, I'm able to keep up for up to a mile and a half. For my first marathon, I'm going to lay back for the entire thing (unless I hit mile marker 25 and realize that I have a lot of juice in the tank), but I'm actually excited that I've been able to kick in something at the end. It reminds me that I'll be able to push things faster in the future. Because, well, I always need a goal, and this "run a marathon" thing is pretty big - I don't want to gear myself up to run it and then have nothing to work for.

  10. Speaking of stuff to work for, I'm still thinking about an Iron Man.

  11. I have absolutely no desire to weigh myself, despite the number of people who ask how much weight I've lost.