Tuesday, March 8, 2011

I'm Stylish, Dammit

So the Mad Woman Behind the Blog finds me stylish. Surely, you know of the Mad Woman, don't you? You don't? Well, go the fuck over to her place - she's funny, and smart, and hot, and, you know, actually fucking updates her blog on a regular basis. Really, she's among the best bloggers around and deserves your attention. And, she's pregnant, so if you don't go to visit her, she may just eat you.

Ok, where was I? Yeah, she finds me "stylish" and gave me an award. Obviously, she knows of the cold days where I've chosen to run in three layered sweatshirts and my Guitar Hero flannel pajama pants. Running, in the dead cold so that icicles formed in my beard so it looks like I just gave a truly sloppy blowjob. I mean, look at me, ain't I stylish?

Ok, enough snark. Thank you momma, for the award - which brings with it several conditions - first, seven things which you may not know about me.

  1. I was disqualified from a Pinewood Derby. My first try at the Pinewood Derby was pretty typical - 3rd grader gets the kit and wants to spend more time painting it than, you know, carving it. The result was that I had a wooden block that went down the track, and it didn't do too well. The next year, I designed the car with my dad. We came up with this sleek car, all weight taken by removing wood added as lead pellets to the rear of the vehicle. It was fast, it won a whole lot of races, to the point where I went onto the regional level. We moved the wheels further apart at the regionals, though, because that should have made for a faster vehicle on the track. It also violated the rules. Whoops. Read the rulebook first. Heh.
  2. I've been fortunate enough to consider myself a traveler. My grandfather started things - he went all over the world when he was a working man, but as I've learned myself, you really can't visit a place that you travel to while you work. So, he made a list of his favorite places and took his grandchildren with him while he actually got to see them. Between trips with him, and trips with school, and with my family, I've visited (in order, with most countries getting multiple visits) Mexico, Canada, Denmark, Norway, Switzerland, Germany, Austria, Turkey, Belgium, Poland, the Czech Republic, Greece, and Great Britain. I love traveling, and I've been quite fortunate enough to get to do it as often as I have.
  3. My beard (which is more or less permanent) started on a whim. I was working for a company that had a strict "use it or lose it" policy with vacation. December came and I had been saving vacation on the chance that we'd get a last minute call about an adoption situation, so I had something like 7 days of vacation to use up. When you start throwing in holidays & weekends, well, I wasn't at work for two straight weeks. And, heaven knows I'm not about to shave when I don't need to. The result was that my beard had just moved from the "scruffy" to the "barely acceptable," and now it feels like it's a part of me.
  4. I am an absolute horror movie freak. If I need to put on something just to "have something on," I always prefer a B-Horror film...the faker the effects, the over-acted the happier I am. I've seen some truly silly films, and some truly deranged, but it's a little scary how much I enjoy them. That said, my favorite movie is a horror film that was quite subtle, Låt den rätte komma in (Let the Right One In).
  5. I am fascinated by Christopher McCandless. No, I'm not about to pick up and spend a winter in Alaska without provisions, but damn if it's cool to say "I want to do that, I don't care if you think it's crazy, and I'm going to do it all by myself." I spend all day, every day, around a computer, and even if I'm not at a computer, it's not difficult to get a hold of me. Up & "unplugging" for an extended period of time has a real Siren's call. I think I can satiate the call with weekend & week-long camping trips, but the Wild, she calls to me.
  6. If I wasn't working in IT, I really think I'd find my calling as a health care professional - most likely in hospice care. Well, I'll always hold out hope of being a professional author, or playright, or composer, or recipe designer, or musician - I mean, it'd be really cool to make enough money via creative endeavors to get to the point where I can claim "independent wealth," but I really think I'd excel "helping people." I love meeting new people, getting to know someone, helping someone out. The dying, in our society, are kind of swept under the carpet. I don't know, but I just think it would be quite rewarding to know I was providing comfort to someone uncomfortable and scared.
  7. I have a single tattoo, and a single piercing, but I have plans for many more. Well, maybe not "many," but I certainly have plans for more. I think body art is a bit over-done these days. Nothing irks me more when you ask somebody about a tattoo on display to hear "I thought it looked cool." That said, it's the ultimate form of tribute - a piece of your skin devoted entirely to a memory/thought/person/event/idea. As long as they're personal & meaningful, I love body art. My current tattoo is on my right leg, a bicycle chain wrapping around & cutting into my skin . . . it's a reminder that, if I'm not doing something active, and I can be doing something active . . . well, maybe I should be. My next tattoo will be a sleeve on my left arm, filled with little bits & pieces (with holes left for the future) of symbols of my children.

Winning this award also dictates that I nominate seven other bloggers for the award...in no particular order:

  1. Rachel of Happy, Healthy, Homemade because she can cook some really healthy stuff has bionic boobs.
  2. Eleanor of Lelly's Musings because she keeps me motivated. Every day, I struggle to work out - Lelly cheers me on while I can swear I feel the smile emanating from her own post-workout tweets.
  3. Ken from Fat Kid Suit because it's a little uncanny how much alike we are. He's had weight issues, I've had weight issues. We've both had some serious attempts at changing our lives for the better that just didn't quite work out and we can't pinpoint why . . . sometimes, it's just better to know you're not going on a journey alone
  4. Chrissa from A Little Wicked & Lori from Oh Shit, She's Awake (yeah, two for the one because it's totally impossible to pay attention to one without the other, and their own friendship makes you like them as a whole even more) because they're witty, silly, beautiful, provocative, and currently churning out some of the best blog writing I've ever witnessed in their own 50-50 challenge.
  5. Dana of Amid Life's Crises because she's wickedly smart, tremendously sweet, has a great meme with her Sunday Secrets and if she keeps up her workout regimen, she's going to make me seem like I live life standing still.
  6. Allie from So I Had Cancer... because if you ever confuse my words for inspiring, you haven't read Allie.
  7. Pop from Go, Pop, Go! because, quite frankly, the future years of fatherhood scare the everliving shit out of me, and reading what Pop has gone through makes me think that I might just survive with my sense of humor intact...sometimes.

So, bloggers - go forth, spread the award, but most importantly, write!


The mad woman behind the blog said...

I am so much more in love with you now...in the OMFG he's hilarious, he's active, drinks the right drink and we could party like rockstars together but your marriage is safe sort of way.

Anonymous said...

So if I had bionic boobs I'd be higher on the nominee list..that really sucks John cuz I sprend a LOT of my time trying to figure out how to get rid of my boobs.

Cheers, and keep up the great posts.


Anonymous said...

You'll make it, so long as you're properly liquored throughout.

And I have bionic moobs - shouldn't I be higher on the list?

tulpen said...

Hospice is where it is at. Never do I feel more useful than when I'm sitting beside a person who is on their way out.

Congrats on the award. Mad Woman is a hot shit.

JenJen said...

A breath of fresh air....:) x0

The Empress said...

Oh, I like it here.

Something real, and different, and not preachy and "oh isn't life lovely."

Don't I sound charming?

Lovely to meet you, and a perfect day for me to stop here, with this post of self disclosure.